Nicole Kidman on Death of Her Parents: I Wake Up ‘Crying, Gasping’

Nicole Kidman is speaking candidly about the grieving process after the death of her mother Janelle Ann Kidman.

The actor, 57, admitted to GQ magazine of having moments where the full weight of her loss hits her. Kidman’s mother died in September at age 84, and her father, Dr. Antony Kidman, died in September 2014 at age 75 after falling.

“So life is, whew. It’s definitely a journey. And it hits you as you get older,” Kidman told the outlet, adding, “it’s a wake up at 3 a.m. crying and gasping kind of thing.”